so down

Well it's not looking good for NZ, James is now unsure of how far away it is, the lack of support network and being able to get jobs out there, he's convinced if we go we'll never be able to come back and isn't talking about things. I think he is right about all of this, but we could go and make it a working holiday as such, either sell the house to fund it, making sure we buy one out there so we will make a bit of money on that too to help us back, make sure we put enough money into an account that we don't touch so that we have enough money for flights, or we could rent the house out, we have a low mortgage on it so the money we'd get for rent would cover the mortgage and leave us with a bit extra each month, we'd have to make sure that we kept extra money aside that way incase things needed doing on the house and then the money we got from jobs out there would have to be enough to rent/but somewhere out there too, aaaaaaaaaagh it's all too much for me to work out in my head. Another thing we were thinking instead was just making a move in this country, down south somewhere, Devon, Cornwall or Dorset as we love it down there, I think there's more of a holiday atmosphere down there, I'd love to live close to the coast, there's still surfing etc for the kids, but the houses aren't cheap and I'm not sure we can afford the extra on the mortgage, plus I'm pretty sure we'd have to get jobs down there before we could get a mortgage anyway, and with things the way they are now in this recession (I know we're comming out of it slowly but even so!) we'd still have no support network and no-where to put people up if they came to visit as there's no way we could afford a big enough house to have a spare room. Do we stay here and not move at all (or just into a nicer house once I'm working) one of the senior schools here isn't quite as bad as I thought, although still not good, and they wouldn't have to leave friends behind, and make new ones, we could hunt for houses nearer to nicer schools around here, but would have to downsize (don't really want to do that, we have no room for anything here and are all ontop of each other all of the time)

It's really getting to me, I feel like I've fallen into a deep dark whole and the more I try to work things out in my head the deeper and darker it gets, I feel like I'm trudging through sludge and really can't be bothered to do anything or see anyone really, I got really drunk on Sat night as it was all just getting to me and I don't think anyone really knows how I feel, I'm really annoyed that J just doesn't seem to care what we do (as long as it's not NZ well without a trip there first which we just cannot afford ever!!!) he doesn't seem to have an opinion on the schools, as far as I know he's never looked into them, if he has he's certainly never spoken about it or what he feels is best for them, he didn't even have an opinion on whether we should get Reilly immunised against swine flu, as long as he has his airsoft and x-box he is quite happy to bumble along hating his job, but doing nothing about it just moaning aaaaaaaaaaaaagh I've never felt this down before, well not since Reilly was nearly one and had given up breast feeding and I was down as my last baby was growning up, but he'll be 3 in a fortnight and I can't even look forward to that it feels like to much effort, I just wanna run away for a bit and come back when it's all been sorted out :(

Layla update

Her bloods are back (got a call from the Dr at 6.45pm, boy did I panick to start with ) her white blood count is back up to 5.8 so normal again but she was showing as more anaemic than before (not much) but the Dr would like to try her on iron if she'll take it got to try 2 spoons a day for a month, then 1 spoon for 2 months (I hope it tastes nice or I've got no chance of getting her to take it lol) the Dr suspects it was glandular fever, apparantly although it's unusual for little kids to get it, they can, but milder than teenagers, no more blood tests unless she goes down hill again I'm Soooooooo relieved

Vicky
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Sickness

We've had Layla, then Reilly and then Bethany sick over the weekend :( it seems to be a quick bug though and Bethany had it worst, but is on the mend now, just wobbly from lack of food and drink, so will see how she is tomorrow and decide whether or not to send her back to school, but have had to tell the lo's I look after not to come today or tomorrow to be safe, really hope Craig misses it though

Vicky
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Grrrrrrrrrrrr

Since last night Reilly has been screaming, very high pitched and banging his head and pulling his ear on the right, we've been giving him calpol and calprofen but this evening it was getting worse, so I rang the emergency Dr's (I hate going there) and got him seen, after waiting for an age, with him screaming on and off, we went in, Reilly wouldn't let him examine his right ear properly, so the Dr looked in his left one, checked temp and chest and throat and pronounced him to be full of cold, looked at me like some over-protective first time Mum and told me to put him in a steamy room Saying he'd have a temperature if there was an infection anywhere (erm he's on calpol and calprofen!!!!) How can he say that there's nothing wrong with an ear that he couldn't get near???????? I'm fuming, and to top it all off the bl**dy car park pay machine's in our car park (emergency Dr's is at the hospital) wouldn't take notes, so I had to trapse accross to the main car park in the dark with a baby on my own to use the machine in there and had to stop off for more calpol on the way home, I swear he's getting addicted to the stuff, he points to the medicine cupboard and says "more, more" then throws a tantrum when I say no!!!!!!

Layla's had a good week though, apart from yesterday, she's been running about just like normal, only a few mentions of aches and pains, but not much, then Friday (yesterday) she was very lethargic again and complained of headaches and tummy aches again, but they didn't last long and I sent her to nursery, she seemed ok in the evening too, apart from the fact that she apears to have stopped eating dinners!!!

Childminding this week, has been ok, the lo I have in the daytime is just interested in playing with the toys, there aren't many at their house and we have so many, must be like Christmas all the time lol, so I do colour, and shape work whilst we play on the floor, occasionally we do colouring, but that never lasts for more than a couple of minutes. My after school child is just interested in playing when we get home, and that is what their parents want her to do, they have asked me not to do any homework, or reading and to just let them relax and unwind, not sure what OFSTED will make of that lol

Right off for a vino to destress

Vicky
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HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY REILLY

Well I'm a week late getting on here (bad Mummy) but there has been such a lot of stuff going on. We had a little children's party for him actually on his Birthday, unfortunately he was feeling under the weather (more on that later!) but I think he enjoyed it and he joined in in his first game of pass the parcel :)

We bought him a wooden trike (without pedals) with trailer, a singing laugh and learn chair, and a jacket and jumper. Craig bought him a ITNG book, Bethany bought him Igglepiggle and Layla bought him some cars for the bath, although we use them on his garage that he got off of his Nanny and Gramps. He also got the ninkynonk, a smaller igglepiggle, and an igglepiggle in his boat, clothes, money, a shape sorter, 2 (different) ITNG DVD's and a pull along dog. So did very well, considering we told everyone not to go mad lol.

For the children's party I bought an ITNG cake, then we had a family party on the Saturday and I made him a lovely round cake with blue and white icing on, then out of icing I made Humphrey!! (that's his comfort toy, it's the baby elephant from Humphrey's corner which is also a blankie and teether) looked fab!! (even if I do say so myself)

I decided to treat him on his Birthday and let him have some Robinson's squash (peach, and then summer fruits) which he loved, unfortuately I think it is this that made his face swell up as I also gave it to him the day after, and it's the only thing he'd had different really. Also a couple of days later he had marmite and green grapes and came out all blotchy, so he now has pirriton and I have to keep a record of what he seems sensitive too, tonight he reacted to our spag bol, I'd forgotten completely about marmite and lobbed some in it (well he's been eating it for months now, but it could have been any number of ingredients) So now I'm going to have to start cooking his dinners separately again, joy!!!!. On top of all that worry he also had an ear infection (hence why he was off colour on his Birthday) and so has been on antibiotics yet again!! and he's not been right again today, so much so that I've gone out and bought a sling to carry him about in more (I can use it for Layla too as she's such a lightweight lol)

Right well I'm exhausted, and I'm off shopping and hopefully to get out nails done too for Mother's Day, tomorrow (I know a day early) then we're having dinner at Mum's so no cooking yey!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vicky
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Update on Layla

This is an update on what has happened over the last week regarding Layla.

I took her this morning, she didn't know what was going to happen other than we were seeing a nurse and she was going to look at her arm, I told her she had to have her magic cream on which she got upset about, butwhen we got there she played while we waited and was an utter didn't flinch or murmer, and not a tear in sight. I told her afterwards that they'd taken a bit of her blood and that was going to help them find out what was making her tummy hurt, she was fine, and said it hadn't hurt at all. Then we went and got an ice lolly
Just got to wait for the results to come in now

The same night I got a phone call from the Dr's
The blood test results are back (not the full results but enough for them to ring us!!) she's slightly anaemic and has a really low white blood cell count, got to go back tomorrow to repeat just to check

She was a little star again, they dug about in the arm they used yesterday for an age, but couldn't get anything , so tried the other arm and after more digging about, they got the 2 test tubes they needed. She's been off colour today so kept her off of nursery and she's had an afternoon nap again, so I think the blood loss (I know it doesn't seem much) is affecting her she's a bit better now, but that could be the cola bottles and mini eggs lol.

That all happened on Monday and Tuesday, then despite a couple of calls to the Dr's I couldn't fine out any more really, got the results (same as Mon) on Thur and saw my GP this morning
I've been to see my GP, she said that her white blood count is still low, but slightly better that on Monday, and wants to repeat the tests in a fortnights time. I've also got to get another wee sample so they can do a dip stick test to check for blood in her urine, I'm pretty certain that'll be clear though, but typically I'd made her go to the loo just before we went to see the Dr and so she couldn't perform, so that'll be something nice to look forward to this afternoon Her thinking at the moment is that it's a virus of some sort that's caused it all and is hoping that her count will have increased at the next blood test. I've got to take her back if any of her symptoms get worse, she seemed particularly worried about her lack of energy (lying down during her gymtots), and headaches, she gets lots but they don't last long, if they start lasting for longer she wants to refer her to a pedeatrician (same if the bloods come back low again) So I've got to keep a symptom diary, along with Reilly's food diary (at least he seems to be ok now, although not tried him back on any of the suspect foods, nothing else had made him blochy )
So relieved that it seems to be nothing too scary though, bloomin Dr's get you all worried over nothing, if only he hadn't have sounded so worried on Monday eve, we wouldn't have spent the week worrying ourselves silly

Layla

She's been complaining of a tummy ache on and off for about 2 months now, and I've taken her to see the nurse (hardley ever get to see a Dr at our place) twice first time she wasn't sure, ordered urine sample (came back clear), second time thought it might be her glands. Anyhoo, was back there with Bethany (though she might have tonsilitis, she does, but not bad enough for anti b's ) asked how long and severe bouts of this gland thing could be for Layla as had had her in incredible pain and being sick on Sun morning with it, and she said I should take her to see the DR, we did this morning (all 6 of us, had the LO I mind with us too lol) and she thinks it's probably migraines of the stomache, although has ordered bloods to be taken (given me magic cream though ) to rule out anything more sinister and apparantly they don't order bloods in LO's unless they're worried as it stresses them out too much aslo cheking for anemia as she gets sooo tired at times. I've been given a anti spasm med for her (which she hates, so that's going to be fun ) and travell sickness tabs to stop the nausea (she like these though )
So now I'm not sure how I should be feeling Also she has an incedibly sore throat (I'm a horrid Mummy, just assumed it would be linked to the cold she has at the mo, but she has a nasty red raw patch, with the Dr showed me and told me to keep a close eye on and bring her back ASAP if it doesn't clear up by begining to middle of next week!!!!!)
But at least she hadn't lost any weight, she's put on 1lb since begining of Dec
So now I'm all over the place, I stopped myself asking what else they were testing for (althoug she's only ordered a full blood count, she said it would rule out a few other things?) as I knew I'd be off on an internet search the minute I got home if I knew, think it best to wait and see for definate if there is anything the matter before I go scaring myself silly